Now For Another Topic Entirely!

    Now for a topic which I can really sink my teeth into, because I've had extensive experience doing it: hosting a server. (Please note: For this post, I will use the term "server" in place of "gaming server". There is a difference: not all insects are ants, but all ants are insects.)

    Hosting any public gaming server on any even moderately popular game is equatable to Hell on Earth for the hoster. The more popular the server, the worse it is. I should know: I've hosted a server for about two years now.

    The only thing I can say to try to convey how absolutely painful hosting a server is "y r u shootign @ me???!!!" Imagine having to read this form of... communication, for lack of a better word...constantly. That's just the start. Not only do you have to read text which looks like it was made by a brain-dead monkey having at the keyboard, but you also have to endure people ordering -- yes, ORDERING you to take administrative action on others for playing the game as it is meant to be played. I have had people tell me to ban people because someone else killed them while they were building. (I host a trench warfare server. You kill others and build cover.) What I don't understand is how this comes to pass. When a player spawns, a large popup with an "OK" button at the bottom appears. One of the items reads "2. Buildkilling is allowed, spawnkilling is not."

    That's another thing almost any game server will have unless it has no killing at all: spawnkilling. In my eyes and on my server, spawnkilling is the killing of someone who has neither left the spawn area nor drawn a weapon or other item, such as the trench items used to dig and build dirt. Even though this seems like an incredibly logical definition, some people still yell "SPAWNKILL" when they die thirty yards away from the spawnroom's entrance while trying to kill me.

    The solution may seem obvious: Don't host a server with combat on it. Well, the game I host on has two basic forms of server. Combat and non-combat. The non-combat servers are building servers, and are generally called "freebuilds." The problem is, for some reason which I will never quite entirely understand, a lot of the people who join my server seem to think this literally means "do anything building-related you want to, including creating as many of the largest brick as you possibly can." Other people will join my server and say "kan u maek this b a kombat servur" or sometimes "wat hapend 2 ur trench warfar servur??????"
    That's another thing I hate. For some reason which is beyond my capacity to understand, some people will replace all c's with a k sound with k's. I've even seen some people (one of whom was me, mocking the fad) do it to c's with an s sound. An example server name is "Mortal Kombat's Kamoflauged Kombat."
  I don't even get how that came to be. With "combat" I may be able to pretend I understand, because most Internet words are shortenings of their English counterparts when you look at a keyboard. For example, shortening "to" to "2" only saves time if you're typing. The same is true with "for" and "4", "ate" and "8", "at" and "@", and several others.
  Let's rate "combat" and "kombat" based on the number of inches you would need to move your one beak over my keyboard to peck out the words. "combat" comes in at 14.00 inches, whereas "kombat" is only 10.75 inches. For "hunt and peck" typists, this shortening may signifigantly cut down the length of time required to type the word, especially since the human brain would start looking at the keys immediately surrounding the last-pressed key before looking further away.

    However, I can't describe hosting a server with words, in much the same way a soldier cannot describe fighting a war with words. I'm not claiming hosting a server is in any way comparable to being shot at, but they both have in common the trait of not truly being explainable to someone who hasn't had those experiences.

    4 exampul, if i wus 2 typ dis whol paragraeph in teh way i cunsidr thes pepl 2 typ, my paragraephs wud look sumting liek dis. its hardly a plesunt site 2 luk @ n the only wai 2 red it iz 2 eider sae it out loud r think abot teh fonetiks of da bootchurd text ur reading.
    "For example, if I was to type this whole paragraph in the way I consider these people to type, my paragraphs would look something like this. It's hardly a pleasant sight to look at, and the only way to read is it so either say it out loud or (to) think about the phonetics of the butchered text you're reading."
    For the record, it took me about a fifth of the time to write the proper English paragraph. Why people would use improper typing techniques when they could save so much time typing properly is beyond me, especially when they complain about the time others are wasting them when they get shot and have to go all the way to whatever they were doing when they probably got shot because they were too busy typing with two fingers. I know how long it takes to type that way, it used to be my method of typing. It's incredibly slow, cumbersome, and prone to mistakes, especially when you want to capitalize a key.

    In conclusion: Servers are hellholes for the host. The host has to put up with people who can't type, people who can't play the game, people who can't understand pecking order, people who get a high out of angering others, and people who are just downright dumb. Why, then, do I still host? Here's the answer: there is no logical, emotional, intellectual, or biological reason I continue to host my server. It would be far more constructive if I didn't. I have had several periods of time where I stopped hosting entirely, but for some reason which even I cannot comprehend, I always return and start hosting the server again.

3 comments:

  1. Some advice from a blog saying we shouldn't bother correcting each other's grammar online: http://blogs.sfweekly.com/exhibitionist/2011/11/when_its_okay_to_correct_gramm.php

    Some others say that "correct" English is dying because of common usage eroding the rules. It's certainly annoying for those of us who notice such things.

    But if you look into the history of linguistics, you will find that this is how new languages develop. I know that probably makes you sick to your stomach.

    Read this too- describes language registers/appropriate language use in different situations (the study of sociolinguistics) -- sorry about this being a wikipedia link. I'd love to hear your thoughts on another blog post about this?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Register_(sociolinguistics)

    By the way, are you reading a new book yet?

    Also, you host a trench warfare game? How does it compare to All Quiet's description of trenches?

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  2. Two contrasting viewpoints on how the Internet is affecting language (these are specific to Twitter)-- I'd like to hear your thoughts.

    http://www.mediabistro.com/alltwitter/is-twitter-dumbing-down-english-like-ralph-fiennes-thinks_b15287

    http://www.mediabistro.com/alltwitter/literary-legend-margaret-atwood-thinks-twitter-boosts-literacy_b16428

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here's another one: http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3532

    (Title made me laugh)

    Thoughts?

    ReplyDelete